“You find out your colleague is LGBTQIA+. Do you:

a) Give them a high five

b) Ask if they know your one other LGBTQIA+ friend

c) Treat them differently

d) Treat them equally”

Most of us have seen versions of questions like this in workplace training on inclusion, diversity, and equity. And while the ‘right’ answers seem obvious, real life experiences can still be far from inclusive, for people of all backgrounds, whether that’s race, gender, sexuality, or something else entirely.

This Pride Month, I wanted to share a bit of my own story. Not because it’s extraordinary, or because my experience as a gay man is more important than anyone else’s, but because sharing lived experiences helps us understand one another better.

I came out in 2009, when I was 18. The following year, I started my first full-time job in an office as a customer service rep. At that point, I was out to my family and friends but stepping into a new workplace felt like a completely different world. I didn’t know how to navigate it. What did my 19-year-old self do? I stayed quiet.

I dodged questions about my weekends, laughed off any mentions of “girlfriends,” and generally avoided personal conversations. Looking back, was that the right move? Probably not. But it did give me clarity on what I wanted for my next workplace, a space where I could be open, confident, and fully myself.

When I landed my first HR role, I remember being asked in the interview to share a bit about myself. I spoke about my background, my hobbies, and casually mentioned my partner using his name, which happened to be traditionally masculine. It wasn’t necessary to disclose, but doing so felt good. It felt honest. I walked out of that interview hopeful that I could show up every day as my true self.

And I did. I joined the team, was welcomed warmly, and built genuine friendships. We’d even catch up with our partners outside of work, something 18-year-old me never would’ve imagined.

But I later found out that before I started, the hiring manager, with kind intentions, had told the team I was gay. They’d apparently said, “Just so you know, he has a male partner. I hope that won’t be a problem for anyone.” While well meaning, it meant I didn’t get to make my own first impression. People had already formed a picture of me before I even stepped through the door.

It taught me an important lesson: no matter how accepting a workplace is, it’s vital that people are allowed to speak for themselves, to choose how, when, and what they share. A truly inclusive culture supports and celebrates diversity, but it also respects privacy. No one should ever feel they have to disclose aspects of their identity in order to belong. Inclusion means making space for people to bring their full selves to work if and when they want to, not expecting them to do so.

That HR role led to others, and eventually brought me to where I am now. I wouldn’t change the journey. But the experience highlighted something simple and powerful: inclusion means letting people own their own stories.

We all deserve equal access to opportunities, support, and fair treatment in the workplace. But true inclusion goes beyond that, it’s about creating an environment where people feel safe, seen, and valued for who they are. That’s what enables great teams, rich diversity, and workplaces that genuinely reflect the world we live in.

So what can you take from my story?

• Be a champion for inclusion. Celebrate difference and invite new perspectives.

• Pay attention to culture. Inclusion isn’t just the absence of exclusion, it’s felt in the small, everyday interactions.

• Recognise the courage it can take for someone to open up. Starting a new job is already daunting, imagine doing it while wondering if being yourself will cost you connection or opportunity.

Written by Nick Sayer-Gearen.

✨ Connect with Nick on LinkedIn here.